Positive Discipline
Learn how to keep your kids in line without going over the top.

By Brenda Hafer

Childhood is all about learning. Positive discipline is all about teaching. The two seem to go hand in hand, don't they? There's a fine line between punishment and discipline, and most new parents aren't really sure where discipline leaves off and punishment takes over. Here are some insights into early discipline:

Babies

From the time your child is born until he becomes mobile, very little discipline is necessary. While past generations believed that comforting crying, fussy babies "spoiled" them, we know now that providing nurturing actually builds a strong foundation for positive self-esteem and provides a sense of security that helps babies adjust to the new world in which they live.

Once baby begins crawling, parents must keep an ever-vigilant eye out for danger. Expect to spend a good deal of time redirecting baby away from inappropriate places and actions. Avoid smacking baby's hands and speaking harshly. Try to remember that your infant is eager to explore her home, to get to know her environment.

Toddlers

Children between the ages of one and three do best with consistent schedules. An unexpected change can throw your little one into a tantrum before your eyes. To avoid upsets, keep your toddler in the loop when it comes to changes in his day-to-day routine. Make sure he understands how you'll respond when he goes ballistic, and then, as hard as it can be, remain consistent.

Toddlers love to do things for and by themselves. Provide your child with the opportunity and the time necessary to do simple tasks that distract and teach. If you find yourself hurrying your child along, consider allowing additional time to complete those tasks.

Be aware of your child's attention span. If your child has a hard time sitting through a 30-minute television show, he probably isn't ready for a feature film at the movie-theater. If he's slow to warm up to people and is uncomfortable in a crowd, the library might be a better afternoon outing option than the chaos of a crowded children's museum.

Stay attuned to your child's emotional "temperature." If he's particularly stressed, take him aside for a short story to provide him with the time and space that he needs to regain control of his emotions.

Preschoolers

As children move outside the family unit into the world, behavioral changes can be dramatic. Suddenly your child may be doing and saying things that you never expected. Relax--this is perfectly normal. A little "wing-stretching" is developmentally necessary for him to step beyond home and toddlerhood and into society.

Preschoolers are born people-pleasers. Take time to notice and comment on your child's positive actions. Catch him "being good." Point out to him the feelings of others to begin to sow the seeds of compassion. Make him responsible for himself by requiring that he hang his coat on a height-appropriate hook, participate in cleaning his room, and put away books and toys after playing with them. Teaching your child these things now will save you hours of pleading in a few years!

Use of consistent, positive discipline strategies, as opposed to punishment, will generate a loving relationship between you and your child--one that's built on respect and trust.

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